Tag Archives: crying

How tears can bring you and your boy closer.

I got an email the other day from an editor at the Huffington Post, asking if I would be willing to write up a short thank you note to my dad to contribute to a Father’s Day piece she was putting together. 150 words max. Seemed easy enough to write a thank you, but I totally failed on the 150 words. It seems they excerpted a soundbite and published it here.

Here’s what I really wrote (Note: THIS PIECE IS MUCH MORE INTERESTING.) 

As I was writing, one of my boys was looking over my shoulder. When I turned around to peek at his reaction, his eyes were glassy wet. I asked him how he liked it, and he said, “It almost made me cry.” “Oh,” I responded, with a sideways glance. “I guess I’ll have to keep working on it.” He smiled. This boy can hold feelings in, and needs a perfect setup to really let those healing tears flow. I asked if he had read the eulogy I’d written for my father’s funeral two months earlier, and he hadn’t. He asked me to pull it up, and I did.

We switched places. He sat in the chair holding my laptop, and I sat on the bed behind him, peering over his shoulder. I noticed the first tear drip down his cheek, and then the second. I didn’t say anything. Just set my hand on his back. It seemed forever until he finished reading, and then he closed the laptop and walked out of the room. I followed. And as he sat at the table, his head buried in his own two hands, I listened as he grieved. “It doesn’t seem like it’s really true. Maybe it isn’t? Is his wife still living in the house?” And then the sweet memories. This was good.

His behavior has been quite off-track since we got the sudden news of my father’s passing, and my husband and I left the boys with Grandma and flew to the States for three days. My son had needed me and I wasn’t there. I couldn’t be. And it’s been hard to find my way back to his heart. He’s been mad, rude, and often choosing his friends over us, his family. But since that cry he’s done an about face. He asked me to print out the eulogy for him to have. He’ll sit and listen as I read his little brother Harry Potter. Yesterday he laughed hysterically with that same brother as they told us joke after joke on a long car ride home. He even let me give him a hug.

I know his walk back towards me is far from over, but I’m about to print out that eulogy, and I’m preparing to stay by his side as he reads it again, let’s his guard down and his feelings out, and continues his walk back towards me. Sweet boy, my arms are open wide.

Do you worry you’re not a good enough parent?

Sometimes this parenting thing gets tiresome. It feels like I’m giving giving giving, but not gettin’ any – if you know what I mean. READ MORE>

Finding the Sweet Spot

It’s that place where we can help our children dream big — and give them the tools to make those dreams come true. READ MORE>

How crying about the Holocaust helped me parent better.

In many ways, the last few weeks on planet earth have been bleak. There have been terrifying plane crashes, heart-wrenching massacres and shocking hostage takings and terrorist attacks. For the first time since WWII, the largest synagogue in Paris did not hold shabbat services. Despite my only occasional attendance at such services, I expect that they will go on. I garner comfort in knowing that despite the chaos of life, certain traditions remain.

But when I woke up the other day to a front page story about an estimated 3.7 million people in Paris and around the world marching in unity, I felt hopeful. 3.7 million people moved beyond their grief, their fear, their hopelessness, their business, and prioritized unity – togetherness – connection. For a few hours people were thinking about what bonded them to one another rather than what separated them. READ MORE>

You Really Won’t Believe What I Said To My Son…On His Birthday!

The Not-So-Great Parenting Moment

Part of me can’t believe I’m writing this, yet I know how badly you all need to hear it. If I had not had the pleasure of supporting so many amazing parents in my career, I wouldn’t dare out myself. But I know we’ve all said or done things in our parenting that are, to be kind, less than stellar. And it is not my goal to offer you the illusion of my perfection. I, too, make horrible mistakes. READ MORE>

5 Tips For A Sweeter Holiday Season

There is something about this time of year – at least in the northern hemisphere – that feels heavy to many of us. The days are shorter. The lively colors of spring, summer and fall have turned to shades of gray. It’s hard to keep ourselves upbeat and on track, much less our kids.

I’ve been thinking a lot about how to reclaim this season and make it great! The solution, of course, involves work – because that’s just how life is. You get out what you put in. But hard work pays off, and I encourage you to join me in giving it a go by taking these 5 steps: READ MORE>

How to get your scared child back to sleep

Kids get scared of all sorts of things that take us, adults, by surprise. They might suddenly fear people with hats, or men with beards, or rabbits, or those floaty fuzzy things in the bathtub. Rather than try to convince them that there’s nothing to be scared of, or losing our patience at the “ridiculousness of the situation”, we’d be doing our kids a service to acknowledge that they are scared, and Listen to their fears. Here’s an example of how I was once able to do just that. READ MORE>