Hi there! I’m Tosha! I’m an advocate for you and your kids, and your personal partner in parenting. Let me tell you how I got here.
When I was five my parents divorced, the house I loved was sold, my mom and I moved far, far away from all my friends, and I was a very angry girl. I “hated” my dad, was furious at my mom, changed my name and spent most of first grade in the principal’s office.
Fortunately, I had a mom who never lost sight of my goodness. Not when I kicked and screamed. Not when I got in trouble at school. Instead, she remained my advocate. She kept herself in good emotional shape so she could continue to listen to me rage without taking it personally or losing her cool. She was my rock.
Now I’m the mom. I have a husband and three boys of my own with their own challenges. I love being a mom! Becoming a parent is, hands down, the best decision I ever made. But parenting my boys hasn’t always been easy. It sometimes feels harder than climbing a mountain in a snowstorm with an ice axe, and building a snow cave to protect myself for the night! (which I’ve done)
PARENTING IS DIFFICULT BECAUSE, TO DO IT WELL, YOU MUST LOOK INSIDE YOURSELF. YOU NEED TO KNOW WHAT MAKES YOU SOAR, AND WHAT REALLY PUSHES YOUR BUTTONS. AND LOOKING AT ONESELF – REALLY LOOKING INSIDE – IS A CHALLENGE. THE THING IS, THE CONSEQUENCES OF NOT LOOKING ARE EVEN WORSE.
By the time my second son was born, I started catching myself saying things to my boys that left me feeling badly. I was reacting to everyday challenges more harshly than I wanted to. I knew I needed help, but I didn’t want therapy. I wanted to learn how to change my behaviors. I wanted to know what I could do when my 2 year old went back to nursing every two hours at night and I had to get up for work in the morning. I wanted to know how I could say, “No,” without yelling. I wanted to really really enjoy my time with my boys because I knew that sooner than I would be ready, they would grow up.
I developed programs that combine what I’ve learned through my decade of working with parents and my ongoing education, including the Hand in Hand Parenting tools, strategic use of play, and setting limits. I add to that my special gift of Listening well, without judgment, and supporting you, as parents, wherever you are emotionally. I will support you so that you can change your behaviors. And I will help you see your son’s core goodness, so that you can help him stop his unworkable behaviors. Let’s do it!
Tosha Schore is a parent coach, speaker and co-author with Hand in Hand Parenting founder, Patty Wipfler, of Listen: Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges. Tosha is mom to three boys and an advocate for boys and their families worldwide. She is committed to creating lasting change in families and in the world by supporting parents to care for themselves, connect with their boys deeply, set limits lovingly, and play wildly. Tosha holds a BA in Women’s Studies & Language Studies from UCSC, an MA in Applied Linguistics from UCLA, and is a certified teacher and trainer of instructors in Parenting by Connection.